In the last couple of days, the guys who make Hipstamatic released a new app designed to test people’s investment in retro to its absolute limit. It has confused and angered some, simultaneously delighting others. The confused, angry amongst us are almost certainly lacking knowledge (isn’t this always the way?).

The fundamental premise of Hipstamatic Disposable is to act like roll film, in that you get no preview and no ability to review your images until you’re done shooting a “roll”. A roll is 24 exposures.

Now here’s where people get angry. There are two types of free film (this is, as far as I can tell, a different type of filter; maybe border, too. I haven’t got that far yet), three if you log in using Facebook. When you want to shoot some photographs, you either pick a new “roll” from what you have available, or pick a project that’s already been started. The interface suggests that you can’t have two active instances of one type of roll.

If that’s not enough for you, Synthetic are willing to test just how vintage you really are. They also offer three different types of premium camera. 69p gets you nine cameras, each with 24 exposures ((69 / 9) / 24 = 0.3p per exposure), 36 for £1.49 (0.17p per exposure) or 99 for £2.99 (0.12p per exposure).

Divide numbers by other numbers for long enough and they all seem small, but in a world of micro transactions and App Stores, I think this is a pricing model that could work for Synthetic. The problem that I see is people don’t seem to understand it. There are too many numbers, and the more numbers you say at people, the more scared and confused they seem to get. I read a review yesterday in which the language really inflated my perception of the price, and I read an App Store review (the new YouTube comments) earlier of a poor individual who thought that you paid 69p for 9 exposures. Once I sat down and read the numbers for myself, though, it became clear that this is actually quite a reasonably priced app. Still much cheaper than an actual disposable camera.

Personally, I will probably work my way through all the types of film to see which I prefer, then stick to it. I don’t see that this app is a replacement for apps like Hipstamatic (or whatever camera app you use). It’s more the sort of thing you’d want to replace a disposable camera. You’re probably not too bothered about how the photos will turn out, as long as something turns out. You don’t need to review every shot you take – you just want to fire off a few rolls then look at them later. This is actually quite similar to the direction I’m taking with my DSLR. I don’t usually look at my photos until I get home anyway (unless I’m on a boring train or I’m trying to get the exposure of something just right) because I think there’s a lot to be said for an imperfect image. It’s something that digital has definitely taken away, and I appreciate Synthetic’s mindset and steps to put it back. I hope it works out for them – I’ve grown very fond of their camera apps (in certain configurations. Some of their stuff is quite horrible).

You can see for yourself whether you like the results. I kinda hate the huge borders that these apps add. I love that Instagram lets you disable them, but it seems to be the only app of its ilk that does. It’s worth mentioning that you can play with the intensity of the applied effect, but all of these were taken with the slider in the middle (where it defaulted to). Nevertheless, it’s free and well worth checking out, in my opinion.

Spotify the service is brilliant. There’s tonnes of music on there now, and being able to import your own library and OTA sync with mobile devices is brilliant. The purchase-able MP3 bundles are a bargain (if you’re bright enough to spend £50 at a time). They’re doing really great things for music consumers when the recording industry seems to be working on triple-jointing its elbows so it can simultaneously scratch its own back and steal your wallet (or put you in jail). Kudos to you, Spotify.

My problem with Spotify, and the reason I’ll probably cancel my subscription (again), is that the player is broken. It’s a horrific abortion of an application. A worthless, frustrating, horribly-designed, fundamentally loathsome piece of garbage.

I come from a media library school of music-listening. That is to say that I have all of my music available to me all the time in iTunes. I can browse by artist, album, genre, I can arbitrarily create playlists, all the nice things that Spotify pretends to be able to do, but doesn’t. Say you’re in the mood to listen to something you know you’ve got in your library. Here’s a worst-case, oft-realised scenario of how that situation could end up causing you to want to kerb stomp a puppy:

• I’d like to listen to this album today
• I search for the album
• I’m presented with a visually cacophonous assault of things that are likely irrelevant to what I was looking for
• I realise what I was looking for was in my library, not Spotify’s and Spotify’s search only searches their catalogue
• I drop back to “Local Files” and I have to Command[Control]-F a string precise enough to match the album I want to listen to (I suppose I could create playlists in this instance, but by now I’ve illustrated that Spotify’s search is worthless, and the app doesn’t allow you to browse by artist or album unless they have the artist/album in their library. Suck it up, pansy)

Say I find my albums, and I want to queue them in a playlist, in the order I choose. I sort by “Added”, foolishly assuming that this will be able to emulate iTunes’ behaviour, whereby adding music to a playlist results in a playlist automatically sorted in the same fashion that I added it. If I add an album in Spotify, and sort by the earliest added, it seems to flip the track listing order, so that if I choose tracks 1-12 and add them, the order that they appear in the playlist is 12-1. I can’t even trick Spotify into doing what iTunes does perfectly and intuitively.

Assuming I’ve actually managed to find something to listen to, things go well from there. The controls are way more responsive than iTunes, which is nice. I don’t have to hit pause then wait for three seconds for music to stop before I can answer a phone call. Sound quality seems good, although if you’re doing something CPU-intensive, playback gets noticeably jittery (I say “noticeably” because I do a lot of CPU-hungry stuff, and have never noticed iTunes stutter).

Spoonful of sugar notwithstanding, the final (small-to-some) gripe I have with Spotify is their library tagging and how they force it on you. My #musicmonday posts are calculated programmatically by gathering all the songs I listened to in the last week, querying a few web services to get song lengths, then calculating the amount of time I’ve spent listening to artists individually that week. Naturally, as I started using Spotify as my main music player, I decided that I would implement Spotify’s music metadata API search, as I noticed that musicbrainz wasn’t getting a lot of the tracks that I was submitting. Having done this, I noticed that when using the Spotify music metadata search, submitting strings that it had obviously sent to last.fm as scrobbles, it couldn’t find this music from its own database! How is that even right? Is it not working from the same data? To make matters slightly worse, it seems to have inferred tags from my library. I have a beautifully-tagged iTunes library, which Spotify has taken it upon itself to apply its own shitty metadata to!

So there you have it. Spotify’s player all but completely ruins the whole experience of finding music to listen to, and my own esoteric obsession with collating data on said music. I guess Spotify’s plan is to piss me off so much when I’m looking for music to listen to that there’s no data to collate. Problem solved.

I feel like everyone thinks I’m that hater guy they know. The one who, when you start talking about something you love, they are immediately already aware of it and don’t like it. There might be an element of truth to that, so I have been trying to be more positive. It’s really hard when everyone loves Michael McIntyre and Kings of Leon, but I have taken to offering up things that I love when I dislike things in an attempt to establish common ground. It works quite nicely in a lot of cases (but you wouldn’t believe the number of people who will readily call you a hater and not even entertain alternatives you suggest. It’s a lot).

I’m very passionate about a lot of things, so I’ve categorised the year. They may seem arbitrary in some cases, but this covers the whole year (save for things I forgot).

hardware

It hasn’t been a hardware-heavy year, what with our house trying to fall down every time I look away, but I have managed to pick up some awesome.

Limited Edition Red Nintendo DSi XL – I’ve had a DS before (a couple of times) but there’s really getting to be some amazing games for it now, so it’s time to add it to my arsenal for good, I think. Or at least until we establish that the 3DS doesn’t give me a headache.

Apple iPhone 4 – I probably wouldn’t have added previous iPhones to “best yearly hardware” lists. They’re good, best phones I’ve ever used, but they’ve never been amazing. This new one is. The screen, build quality and operating system are all first-rate. It’s really clear that this is a product that Apple truly cares about and they’re leading the phone industry right now, whether you like them or not. I’ve tried recent versions from all competing manufacturers (except Nokia and Blackberry – I have no idea why anyone would want to own one of those things) and they’re nothing by comparison.

ZVEX Box of Metal – guitar has been making a play for me again recently. Picked up this pedal on several recommendations and it’s brutal. Ridiculous amounts of filthy distortion complemented by an excellent noise gate makes this top 3 guitar-related things I own (top being my awesome Les Paul Goldtop. Looking forward to the year I find something better than that!)

games

Games have been a huge part of this year. By the time it’s over, there’ll almost certainly be more to go in this category (I know what I’m getting for Christmas!) but here’s a list of everything I haven’t traded this year.

Super Meat Boy (XBLA) – Game of the Year, Game of the Last 10 Years, Game of Forever. This is hands-down the best, toughest, most-rewarding platformer I have ever played. It’s retro genius with perfect controls, brilliant soundtrack and perfect level design/learning curve. So, so much content for a game that costs a fraction of a major release. Buy an XBOX 360 (or PC), then buy this.

(Where did that come from, saying that something costs a fraction of something else? Even if something the same price, that’s still a fraction. Stupid hyperbole, I guess.)

Demon’s Souls (PS3) – I’m not a great gamer, I just love games. What I lack in ability, I make up for in perseverance. To play Demon’s Souls, you need to get really good, really quick or it’ll eat your life away. In a gaming age where all games hold your hand like a caring parent until you’re ready to fly solo, this game is a refreshing kick into the real world with no help our guidance. More games need to have the balls to just drop you in a world full of demons and let you fight your own way out. Buy a PS3, then buy this (unless you’re a big pansy).

Mario Kart DS (NDS) – yeah, so this has been out for ages and I’ve even had it before, but for some reason I get it now. Snaking used to be a big part of the online element and it ruins it for me, so now I don’t play online. If you’re playing local multi-player, or just blasting around for the hell of it, it’s a great fun game (though 150cc is still brutally hard).

Forza 3 (360) – let’s get this out of the way. I hate Gran Turismo. There. I said it. For Forza 3, you need a wheel. If you’re a console accessory purist, you have to buy official. The Microsoft wheel is expensive, but great quality. If you’re a fan of driving simulators, this is an excellent game to own. I haven’t even chipped away much at career mode – I like my Focus RS too much!

Angry Birds (iOS) – probably my most-played game of the year. Original and Seasons have been at the top of Apple’s charts every single week since their release with good reason. Just incredibly addictive – my mother-in-law, who never plays video games plays this every day. You probably know someone like this as well – it’s been insanely popular and it’s thoroughly well-deserved.

iOS apps

FitFu – when it comes to getting active, I need a kick up the ass. This app is made by shameless geeks who know as well as anyone what makes you tick. It’s stats. It’s being able to see your performance, track your improvement and equate numbers to your activity. It’s your phone congratulating you for how many crunches you can do. And it works. These guys have done a brilliant job on this app and I really hope it catches on.

Kinetic – another exercise app, this one is aimed at you going outside. I get the impression that this is also made by geeks; add and remove modules, view maps and graphs of your sustained performance during a run or a ride or take part in training programs to improve your performance. A great interface, regular updates and a quantitative sense of achievement make this a winner.

Camera+ – even before returning from a six month hiatus, this was an excellent alternative to the native camera. Since its release, I have used this as an alternative because the effects and ability to crop are a very valuable addition to a camera app. Now that it’s back, they’ve removed everything I disliked about the original version and crammed in a bunch of extra features and effects. The ability to tweak effects so that they’re not quite so full-on is a very welcome addition that I never knew I needed.

Instapaper – like a todo list for reading. tl;dr is no longer a problem. Simple, incredibly useful, continuously updated. Amazing interface and some great functionality, this is really for everyone.

Ampkit+ and Ampkit LINK – Agile Partners are doing seriously impressive guitar-related work. They’re getting recognition all over for Guitar Toolkit and Tab Toolkit and it’s because they’re the best. Ampkit includes the best amp and effects models I’ve come across in an interface that is beautiful and makes perfect sense. Using Ampkit LINK, the sound quality through a pair of ACS T3 or Macbook Pro (GarageBand as a monitor) could not be better.

Lick of the Day – Agile Partners and Guitar World bringing licks of varying difficulty to you every day. Bread and butter by Andy Aledort and Jimmy Brown, but every now and again a surprising appearance by Joe Satriani and Glenn Proudfoot make this a great app to keep you picking up the guitar every day.

SBSettings – Jailbreak-only, but this is pretty much the only reason I do. Quick access to system toggles such as Wifi, brightness, 3G, Data, Airplane mode, SSH. I really don’t know why there isn’t something like this as standard in iOS.

music

The Chariot – Long Live. There is so much music. Even if I quit my job and listened to music all day, I would never be able to listen to all the music I’d like in a lifetime. That’s why, if a band pisses me off, they don’t normally get a second chance. The Chariot, however, managed to piss me off and redeem themselves (lucky them, right?) in one year. They played an absolutely abysmal live show, but then came along with this devastating album and made me forget absolutely everything that had annoyed me in the first place. A step in the mathcore direction, this is chaotic, brutal and beautiful. If you don’t like this album, there’s something irreparably wrong with you and I don’t think we can be friends any more.

La Dispute – Somewhere at the Bottom of the River Between Vega and Altair. La Dispute can do no wrong. They release poorly recorded EPs that blow my face off. They release soft, spoken word EPs that make me want to cry and their full-length album makes me want to destroy everything I’ve ever loved, just so I can understand it. Vocally, musically, lyrically, everything about all of their music is perfect. Really, nothing I can say will do these masterpieces justice.

Pianos Become the Teeth – Old Pride. For me, this has been the year of traumatic emo. Horribly sad music that strangely fills you with hope and energy. Music like this always reminds me of a quote from the IT Crowd about Cradle of Filth: “It sounds horrible, but it’s actually quite beautiful“. If it’s not something you’re used to, it does sound horrible, but it’s supposed to. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, this is not.

Bring me the Horizon – There Is a Hell, Believe Me I’ve Seen It. There Is a Heaven, Let’s Keep It a Secret. Bring me the Horizon have changed so much since their first release. Now incorporating techno and electro elements (I assume, inspired by their Suicide Season – Cut Up release) and featuring cameos from the amazing LIGHTS and youmeatsix, their music has a much more mature edge. This release is so intelligent, haunting and loud that they can be forgiven for the atrocity of a debut video that came from it!

TV

Sons of Anarchy – this has been on my radar for ages, but escaped me for various reasons. I finally got round to sitting down and watching it end-to-end and it’s absolutely brilliant. If you imagine The Sopranos (coincidentally another I need to watch through) on Harleys, you’re halfway there. In spite of the absolutely terrible casting in places (Charlie Hunnam, Titus Welliver, Keith Szarabajka), this succeeds as some of the best TV since House started going stale (and yes, it has so shut up).

Fringe – Fox is going to cancel this. I know it, you know it, the Friday Night Slot of Death knows it. Still, it’s brilliant sci-fi and I love it. There’s not a weak link in the cast and there hasn’t been a weak element to the story (except that recap episode – what the fuck was that?), I have no idea where it’s going and I can’t wait to find out. Please, please, Fox, don’t cancel it.

How Not to Live Your Life – brilliantly-written British sitcom. I was beginning to think Britain was only capable of breeding terrible, terrible comedians who make we want to leave the country. Thank you, Dan Clark, for proving me wrong.

Party Down – relatively unknown, this is a great sitcom with an Arrested Development style to it. Very dry, deadpan and awkward at times, it’s immensely well-written and acted. I wish they could’ve run a million seasons of it but stupid Adam Scott went to stupid Parks and Rec and they had to cancel it (and they did have to. It would’ve made no sense to carry on without him).

So, there you have it. All the things that were the best about this year. Some things, granted, were not from this year but I’m not always on time for everything. Sorry if the thing you made isn’t here, it just means you weren’t good enough.

The problem of paying for reviewer attendance to events by hosts is a constantly hot topic, in games especially, it seems. Capcom are the latest to throw light onto the subject, hosting an event in Hawaii and paying for some to attend. This is such an irritating practice, because the skeptic in me will always think the reviewer is communicating something entirely separate from their review score when they’re reviewing. A low score says nothing about the game, but instead that even if someone else is paying, they haven’t been bought. A good score says either “I’ve been influenced by this awesome trip, and I’m giving a good review so the freebies keep coming” or “This was a great game, buy it!”, making the score completely untrustworthy!

As a (relatively) normal person, I don’t see why games companies have these events. I mean sure, a great willy-wave is fitting every now and again (especially when you’re knocking out an awesome game soon) but you’re making it impossible for reviewers to effectively communicate to their audience. You’re subsequently breaking the review process and cheapening your release!

I, therefore, propose that if a company has a game to review they send a copy to the reviewer and have them review it in the way they would normally play a video game (if you’re from Hawaii, and you usually play on a beach with hula girls and piña coladas, lucky you! (nationalist stereotyping aside)). Using this method removes peer and corporate pressure, as well as the temptation to be greedy from the review process. If you’re a reviewer, either pay for your own ticket and disclose that even though this could’ve been a subsidised event, you’ve integrity. Your review will serve your audience much better!

Thanks.

We love The Boxer Rebellion in this house. They don’t play the around here often enough – we’re used to being in Birmingham where they play pretty frequently. They’re one of the best-produced live bands I’ve ever seen so when I get wind that they’re playing, I make effort to get there. It’s difficult to make an associative recommendation of TBR because you should just like them. They don’t write catchy pop tunes, but each of their songs sticks in your head. They aren’t terribly brash or offensive, they’re just a great-sounding band who clearly love what they do. This is the important factor for me.

All this being said, whoever picks their support acts needs to lay off whatever it is they’re laying on. There’s no need to book shitty indie-by-numbers bands to make TBR sound better because they are always great. Nevertheless, tonight was a douzie.

First “act” took the form of Red Drapes (I’m not linking to their myspace as that will cement an association with them and I don’t want that), who were utterly awful. The whole band seemed totally bewildered by their surroundings and instruments in a way that didn’t work at all. I’ve seen live acts fight with their instruments before and it can be a really effective show, but the key is to have good songs as a contrast. It becomes ironic, which you can appreciate in context. Red Drapes play safe, boring songs which seem to be trying to piggyback the latent Kaiser Chiefs success of over-anunciated narrative and little discernible musical talent. The less said about it, the better (though I’ll probably say the most about them – it’s so much easier to belittle than to give praise!).

Next up were female-fronted Kaputt. Don’t think badly of me for making a deal out of the female member, because it’s unavoidable. It’s not very often I come across girl musicians who I would listen to more than once (I am personally obliged to mention the awesome Made out of Babies each time I talk about women in music) so I make a deal out of it. Kaputt will certainly not be everyone’s cup of tea; simple-concept songs with very few lyrics, chanted rather than sung with the occasional 80s-sounding keys and a guitarist who’s really just taking up space. A welcome swill of mouthwash to clear the nasty taste of Red Drapes (there’s a crude metaphor in there – watch me sidestep it gracefully).

Onto the raison d’être. I won’t ever be someone to say that anything is perfect, but TBR do their best to make that difficult for me. Because of their true indie upbringing, their live sound isn’t far removed from that of the studio. However, to watch them is to truly appreciate just how much they enjoy doing what they do and this is the reason to go. A band that is inexplicably always the bridesmaid (once supported by the now-far-too-successful Editors) has never seemed disheartened and continue to lose themselves on stage – the minutes of their set just disappears. Playing a great range of tracks from both of their studio albums and their great rapport with the crowd makes you forget that the air conditioning is leaking on you and you’re sweating horribly. It’s not often I will tell someone to listen to a band but, The Boxer Rebellion, you should. Go to their shows (they will be near you at some point, I almost guarantee it), buy their CDs and enjoy them.

(Sorry, Piers. One day I’ll come to a show and take only pictures of your dark-corner-hiding self!)

More photos of The Boxer Rebellion at The Joiners on May 15th 2009