something of an existential crisis
I guess this is the updated version of personal enrichment brought about by lack of TV; my mind has been being stimulated over the last couple of weeks. I’ve basically had an internet embargo going on, due to being busy with family stuff and a general unwillingness to go near my computer during my time off. It’s been refreshing.
Fortunately or unfortunately, however, it’s caused me to look at the way I use and abuse social networks and the repercussions that has on my relationships with people. Taking the most frequently accessed, Twitter and Facebook; there are times when I basically have nothing to say to people in real life because they already know everything that’s going on in my life. They know that I tried and didn’t like Starbucks, they know what song I like at the moment and they know what I’m doing this weekend. With some people, this starts a bit of dialogue that would, otherwise, not be there for lack of social networks, but it’s really the same few people. That’s not to say that I don’t value the digital interactions I have with people, because I really do, but I feel sometimes like it cheapens physical encounters because there’s nothing to talk about any more.
From this, I could go two ways, I suppose. Either stop using social networks in an attempt to try and personalise communication with people (as opposed to spitting in a crowd and seeing who gets wet), or stop seeing people in real life. There’s obviously a happy medium somewhere in there, but I’ve never been good at finding that so I feel like I’ve reached a bit of a fork-in-the-road. What’s more, is I feel like I’ve already made my decision. I’ve not posted to Facebook or Twitter for the last few days and I already feel like I’m having better interactions with people. I don’t have to preface everything I say with “I don’t know if you saw on Twitter, but…”, which is rewarding in itself. And now, here I am having a characteristic, verbose brain dump with lots of words and no real structure.
If I was going to commit Web 2.0 Suicide, I wouldn’t want to do it permanently. I’ve only used these networks to get back in touch with people I haven’t seen for ages, or to continue talking to new people I meet – it would be counter productive. I think I’d try to be more graceful about it; leave a final message on each network with contact details and a desire to talk and hopefully stir up at least one proper conversation. Maybe I’m being non-commital and self-destructive (oxymoron?), but I keep feeling like the less effort you make to keep a relationship going, the less that relationship is worth. Social networks make relationships zero effort and, by extension, zero worth and I’m not satisfied with that.
Subject to major edits/rewrites/hypocrisy/reorders.
Dan
Ahh, so here you are. I was wondering why I’d been getting no complaints about my constant football tweets
An excellent post and I’m thinking of doing the same actually. I’m 30 this year and I think I’d like life to be a bit more ‘real’.
We need to sort out when we can come down to yours/vice-versa for a proper chin-wag, chips & dips and a few beers/ciders.
Jasper Tandy
Hah! I saw your blow-by-blow over Charlotte’s shoulder earlier (this sentence purposefully easy to take wrong out of context!)
Thank you. It’s something I’ve been thinking about doing for such a long time – basically since we went back to Bromsgrove in the summer and there was nothing to talk about with Charlotte’s friends – they already knew everything. Dunno, felt kinda pointless actually seeing people when there was no news, and that can’t be a good thing! The fewer social interactions (albeit digital, still) I’ve had with non-immediate-family this week have been great. I used to think that there was a lot of value in being able to skip the “what have you been up to?” formalities, but there’s not a lot to get an arbitrary conversation going without that, I now realise!
You guys are always welcome down here. Give us a call if you’re around and just drop in, or we’ll sort something a little more organised – whichever suits. I don’t think we’re back in the Midlands for ages, what with Sudo and everything. Nowhere to keep him really!
Charlotte
(p.s – we have a lovely spare room, with a lovely bed in it and everything.)
Chris Taylor
I agree with you in some ways, but I feel that I deal with this in my own life by not really putting any ‘serious’ material on Facebook or Twitter. Just links to shit I find interesting, funny quotes etc. I’m meeting a friend for dinner on Monday and I have lots to tell her (and she me, I’m sure) because it’s all the kind of thing I don’t share on social networking sites.
Still, I think it might be good for me to cut back a bit – they are quite a drain on my time, even if they are great networking tools.
Jasper Tandy
The thing is, this is kinda catalysed by a few interactions where there has been nothing to talk about because it’s already been done. I don’t want my relationships to be like that, where there’s no need to actually see each other because we can do all of our communication electronically. I figure if I filter out my own spam, then there will be more scope for small talk. I thought I was doing a pretty good job moderating myself, but I clearly wasn’t!
It’s also worth noting that I feel incredibly liberated, not feeling the itch to check twitter or facebook regularly. It becomes a habit that doesn’t really offer any reward other than brief distraction, and I’m pretty glad to be rid of it. I’m really hoping that people actually do think to email or call me. I’ll be actively looking people up to contact and talk to.